what do I need?

"God is not foreign to my freedom.
Instead the Spirit breathes life into my most intimate desires,
gently nudging me towards all that is good.
I ask for the grace to let myself be enfolded by the Spirit." (sacredspace.ie)

When I come to prayer, I'm trying not to advise, counsel and order God to do my bidding - but rather to ask for the grace to be what I'm called to be.  That means the grace to love in midst of chaos or struggle, in the face of others' foibles and flaws.  That means the grace to be generous when I feel self concerned, when my preference is not being met. And that means the grace to know when to speak to a problem and when to be silent (without sulking), the grace not to sulk or become sullen, and the grace to know when something is my problem - and when it is not.  Of course, too often (for my preference) the problem is both mine and the other's - and the boundaries are not always clear.

I find that when I run into conflict or frustration with the way something is developing, my coping is to hide in some way.  Not physically, but in a book or some kind of reading or distraction.  I wish I could say that when I'm upset I clean or I organize - that would mean my house would be much more orderly.
But being tired is often part of the frustration - wanting/needing some help with something around the house, feeling stymied in getting it without asking AGAIN for it from someone.  So, sometimes I go on strike - not loudly or publicly - if possible, I just ignore what needs doing and do what I want to do.
Not so unusual, I think.