I love having children. I have loved having children. I am loving children.
I heard something about the mission of motherhood today - and its call on every woman's life - childbearing or not. I heard that its in a woman's nature to carry life to the world - not just physical life but spiritual life - and that this is God's gift to woman, and His call.
Tonight I had a little piece to present at the 1st year confirmation program's introductory parent meeting. Basically, my pitch to parents to nurture their own faith in order to nurture their kids. "You are the primary educators of your children." That kind of stuff. At the last minute I thought to bring several great books I've been offering for sale - hadn't thought to sell them at meetings - but I did buy them for parents and others with questions about how to talk about Jesus, the Church, Mass, prayer. I also suggested joining our Bible Study, coming to a Marriage Workshop, saving a date for a retreat...
Quite a response to my offer of the books. And I am reminded of how fraught raising teens is, in so many ways. It's hard to talk to some teens about anything at all. And if they do ask tough questions, they tend to stymie parents. My suggestions focus on a delicate balancing act. As the parent(s), we have a right and responsibility to determine how our household functions - especially as regards expected routines and behaviors. It is perfectly reasonable - and desirable - to say "We go to church as a family every (barring emergencies) Sunday". It is not reasonable to respond to a query or challenge about belief with "Because I said so", "Because our family is Catholic" or other shut down answers. The teen years are important years for asking questions about meaning, identity, choices....
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Thoughts in the dark
The house is almost empty this weekend. Is it a bad sign that I so welcome the emptiness?
As I woke to a wide open day with few demands but plenty to fill it, I lay in bed probing my emotional state. Yesterday was not demanding either - quite a change of pace - and I got very little done. I'm plagued with a vague dissatisfaction and trying to identify its source. A little prayer, a little thinking - aha - I have it. I'm not believing my narrative. My perspectives have shifted - God's still the center - but the consequences of that orientation are up for evaluation - and I'm uncomfortable.
So, for the first time all week, I prayed first today. Picked up Anthony Bloom's "Courage to Pray" and did it. He says some challenging things about coming to prayer with integrity - being authentic and not pretending to be someone else altogether. He also point out that we often seek a mystical experience - when we should be seeking repentance and conversion. And that's a risky thing.
So, I talked to God about my "authentic" self. About how I feel, what I fear, about my need for gratitude and wisdom and perspective. Life is changing right before my eyes. And things are good, life is full and I am grateful. But there's this shift in perspective I'm experiencing, an expansion of my horizon that I'm tempted to apply to my past - which is a hazardous thing to do. When I look back on some of the choices that I, that we have made, I need His eyes. JPII so often said "Fear Not" but I think I had some underlying fears. When I try to put those fears into words they sound ridiculous - or reasonable. But the critical issue, whether the fears were ridiculous or reasonable, is my trust in God. Sara created a lot of problems when she failed to trust God's promise to Abraham. Haggai's offspring have been at odds with Sara's ever since Sara took things into her own hands to ensure the fulfillment of God's promise to Abraham. It's a classic problem. Trusting God takes practice - and courage. Working on that.
As I woke to a wide open day with few demands but plenty to fill it, I lay in bed probing my emotional state. Yesterday was not demanding either - quite a change of pace - and I got very little done. I'm plagued with a vague dissatisfaction and trying to identify its source. A little prayer, a little thinking - aha - I have it. I'm not believing my narrative. My perspectives have shifted - God's still the center - but the consequences of that orientation are up for evaluation - and I'm uncomfortable.
So, for the first time all week, I prayed first today. Picked up Anthony Bloom's "Courage to Pray" and did it. He says some challenging things about coming to prayer with integrity - being authentic and not pretending to be someone else altogether. He also point out that we often seek a mystical experience - when we should be seeking repentance and conversion. And that's a risky thing.
So, I talked to God about my "authentic" self. About how I feel, what I fear, about my need for gratitude and wisdom and perspective. Life is changing right before my eyes. And things are good, life is full and I am grateful. But there's this shift in perspective I'm experiencing, an expansion of my horizon that I'm tempted to apply to my past - which is a hazardous thing to do. When I look back on some of the choices that I, that we have made, I need His eyes. JPII so often said "Fear Not" but I think I had some underlying fears. When I try to put those fears into words they sound ridiculous - or reasonable. But the critical issue, whether the fears were ridiculous or reasonable, is my trust in God. Sara created a lot of problems when she failed to trust God's promise to Abraham. Haggai's offspring have been at odds with Sara's ever since Sara took things into her own hands to ensure the fulfillment of God's promise to Abraham. It's a classic problem. Trusting God takes practice - and courage. Working on that.
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